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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

5. Chitra - Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples

#chitra #people #pets #children #options
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Nowadays, in many ,states
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of
people
 who want to become
teachers
 are getting
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
, especially in high schools. The main reason is that young students are transforming
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 adolescents and
lecturers
 can not put up with their inconvenient behaviours. To deal with
this
 problem could be paid
extra
Add an article
an extra
show examples
 salary to
teachers
.
To begin
 with,
attitudes
Correct article usage
the attitudes
show examples
 of young
people
 have bothered the
lecturers
 who are working in secondary schools. Nobody would dispute the fact that the most unbearable term
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 young
people
 for
teachers
 is the adolescent era when kids have been affected by diverse hormones associated with their process of getting older.
For example
, generally, young
people
 have a tendency to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not obey the formal or informal rules due to hormones which are cited above and they have admitted the
lecturer
 as a
representer
Replace the word
representative
show examples
 of authority that should be opposed. To solve
this
 issue might be given to high school
lecturers
 more money than other
teachers
. It seems to that giving
exra
Correct your spelling
extra
 payment to these
people
 could be motivated them being
lecturer
Add an article
a lecturer
show examples
. By
this
 means,
this
 job can gain its charming
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
back and
lecturers
 might prefer to benefit from
this
 opportunity.
For instance
, a young teacher candidate
maybebe
Correct your spelling
maybe
maybe be
 consider the money issue and he could
be choose
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
 to be a
lecturer
 in secondary school. To conclude, the problem is that in a number of countries many
people
 do not want to be a
lecturer
 in secondary schools caused by the inappropriate behaviours of adolescents can be solved with extra payment to these
lecturers
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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