IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some countries focus on health care and education benefits while others on infrastructure and employment. Which do you think would be more beneficial for the population? Give specific details and examples to support your opinion

#countries #focus #health #care #education #infrastructure #employment #population #support
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times, some countries consider health care and schooling. I believe that the government should finance the health sector and study. It is a very important role in society. I think that proper funds for employment and infrastructure are
also
Linking Words
 crucial units.
This
Linking Words
 essay will delve into the upcoming paragraph and
subsequently
Linking Words
 will explore perspective in turn. On the one hand, I believe that government should allocate a large part of its budget to schooling and well-being. The economic sector determines the overall quality of life, ensuring basic sectors
such
Linking Words
 as hospitals, doctors and schools are available to all the citizens irrespective of their income and social status. The population needs to satisfy community services.
Thus
Linking Words
 proper funds are needed.
For instance
Linking Words
, the absence of medicine in any country will create significant problems. That's why the authority should adequately finance public services.
In addition
Linking Words
, the right tuition creates the right employer. That's why education is not logical to neglect. Which helps children's mental health development and maintain discipline.
For example
Linking Words
, Sri Lanka provides free education to all its citizens.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, infrastructure and employment are not a waste of money. It is
also
Linking Words
 an integral part of the nation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, employers are helps to maintain economic growth.
Hence
Linking Words
 should the state should implement long-term plans for worker 's development. In conclusion, after a thorough analysis of the topic, the ministry should allocate a large part of its budget to social services. I think the state should not neglect and finance employment. Since they play a vital role in civilization's existence.
Submitted by Sasha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: