IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people prefer to directly help people who need it in the local community; however, others prefer to give money to the national or international charities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #community #money #charities
In the effort to help others, there are two major types of
support
, which is a controversial topic these days. Some
people
 reckon that it is more beneficial to help
people
 who seek
support
 in the local area,
while
 opponents argue that it is better to donate
money
 to non-profit organizations in the country or worldwide. In
this
 essay, both statements will be clarified before my opinion is reached. On the one hand, in the local community, many aspects including basic infrastructure, education, food, and hospitality need to be developed to improve the well-being of
people
 in the community.
Therefore
, many
people
 recognize
this
 as an urgent problem, which needs to be alleviated immediately.
For example
, the local areas always suffer from natural disasters, which can destroy their residents resulting in increasing hobo.
Moreover
,
according to
 the report from the Department of
disease control
Correct your spelling
Disease Control
show examples
, the statistic of children who died from the dengue virus was dramatically higher in the countryside areas compared to the city.
On the other hand
, some individuals believe that donating
money
 to international and national charities will be more useful for suffering
people
 as the organizations are professional to help others, so they know what aid
people
 actually need.
For instance
, Unicef, an international non-profit organization, bought the supplements to advocate for kids who suffer from nutrition deficiency in Nigeria, which is impossible to implement by ourselves.
Furthermore
,
money
 donation is more convenient for helping others, which is suitable for individuals who have no free time and power. To illustrate, by just clicking a few buttons on a smartphone, huge
money
 can be donated to desirable organizations. In conclusion, both views have different pros and cons. In my perspective, any type of
support
 whether direct help in a remote community or financial
support
 to charities is beneficial for
people
 who are in a difficult time and need help.
Submitted by pantamitsaekong on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that you fully address the prompt by providing balanced arguments for both views and clearly expressing your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of your ideas by using clear topic sentences and transitions to connect your paragraphs.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: