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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

Art
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 is seen as a key part of society and a way to show its culture. Some people wonder if
children
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 should learn
art
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 and if they should spend more time on it than on other
subjects
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, teaching
art
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 to
children
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 is important because it helps them think creatively and learn about their culture.
However
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,
children
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 should not focus only on
art
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, as other
subjects
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 are
also
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 necessary for a complete education. One clear benefit of teaching
art
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 is that it helps
children
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 become more creative. Activities like drawing, music, or acting let students use their imagination and think in new ways.
For example
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, studies show that kids who learn
art
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 often do better in
subjects
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 like math and science because it improves their thinking skills.
Also
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,
art
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 teaches
children
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 about their culture and history, which helps them feel connected to their community.
This
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 makes
art
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 an important part of
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, there are problems with encouraging
children
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 to focus on
art
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 more than
subjects
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 like math, science, or reading.
First,
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other
subjects
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 are important for getting good jobs in the future.
For example
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, learning science and technology can lead to careers that pay well and are in demand.
Second,
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not all
children
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 enjoy or are good at
art
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. If they are pushed to focus on it, they might feel bored or upset.
Instead
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, schools should teach
art
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along with
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 other
subjects
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 to give
children
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 a balanced education. In conclusion, teaching
art
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 is valuable because it builds creativity and cultural understanding.
However
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, it should not be more important than other
subjects
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. A mix of
art
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 and other
subjects
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 helps
children
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 develop different skills and prepares them for a successful future.

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task achievement
Ensure that all main points are thoroughly supported with relevant examples and details.
coherence
Use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines your opinion and sets the stage for your argument.
coherence
You have presented a balanced discussion by acknowledging both sides of the debate regarding art education.
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