IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is too expensive to look after and repair old buidings.This money should be spent on building modern building instead.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#repair #buidings #money
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It is argued that it is too costly to maintain historical sites and finances should be allocated to the construction of new buildings rather.I oppose
this
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 view because historical site serves as a source of income, and employment and
portrays
Correct subject-verb agreement
portray
show examples
 our rich culture.
This
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 essay will explain in detail the reasons for my stance in the subsequent paragraphs with examples.
To begin
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 with,investing in repairing old buildings is beneficiary because it brings income.A lot of foreigners
visit
Use synonyms
places
Use synonyms
 of interest to know more about the place.They pay tour fees to the tour guides which serves as a source of revenue for the government.
Although
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 the government will benefit,tourists make waste.
Moreover
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,there are a lot of people employed in those
places
Use synonyms
 which
serve
Correct subject-verb agreement
serves
show examples
 as a source of employment for them.If the government do not allocate money for maintenance ,a lot of inhabitants will be unemployed .
For example
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 in Ghana,about 20 per cent of the citizens are employed in the Tourism Industry.
Therefore
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 bringing the unemployment rate down and for inhabitants to earn a living.
Secondly
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,allocating funds to maintain a historical site is important because it tells us about our culture.Tourists
visit
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such
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places
Use synonyms
 to know the history of the place.
Besides
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 ,student
benefits
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
show examples
 by using those
places
Use synonyms
 for their educational
visit
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.
For instance
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,in my ,school we
visit
Use synonyms
 Nzulezu every year as part of our curriculum to know the history of our country.
Thus
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 helping them to have more knowledge about their historical site. In conclusion,revenue generation and the history of the sites are the two main reasons allocating funds to maintain these sites are not costly but rather advantageous to the citizens as a whole.
Submitted by agozie2018 on

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task response
Fully address the prompt and present a well-structured argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clear and coherent organization of ideas and improve the introduction and conclusion.
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