n many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is argued that in most nations the highest
salaries
should be given just to a small percentage of individuals.
While
others believe that
salaries
must not be provided above a particular amount.
This
brief essay contributes to these two views and draws my point of view. On
one
hand, the supporters of the prior viewpoint say that authorities should allow a slight proportion of citizens to earn top
salaries
.
This
might be a good opinion
,
Remove the comma
apply
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because those who are paid extremely high might aid the poorest individuals in their areas. To elaborate more, consider my village as an example. There is a man who gets absolutely an excellent salary,
nevertheless
, an amount of his money is allocated to others whose
salaries
are not high.
As a result
, nearly everyone in my village now has his/ her own house. Despite the fact that he has billions and billions of dollars, some of his finances are dedicated to society.
On the other hand
, some citizens feel that governments should not give
salaries
above a certain line. I totally agree with them, since nowadays what can be seen from real life is that those who highly get paid do not care about anything
unless
Change preposition
except
show examples
themselves. At
this
point,
this
leads to crimes and assassinations. To contribute more, imagine that a person has a very top salary, and another
one
his financial money
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
barely cover his
family
Change noun form
family's
show examples
needs. What might happen if
one
of his family members gets sick, considering that he cannot afford the needed treatment? In
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
this
example is a real
one
and it did happen to end with killing a businessman.
To conclude
, in my feeling authorities should not provide
salaries
above a certain line
due to
the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
.
Submitted by 2018161085.rus on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion could be more clear and structured. Ensure that you clearly state your opinion in the introduction and summarize your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples directly support your main points and are relevant to the topic. Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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