n many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#n #countries #people #salaries #country #governments #level

It is argued that in most nations the highest

salaries

should be given just to a small percentage of individuals.

While

others believe that

salaries

must not be provided above a particular amount.

This

brief essay contributes to these two views and draws my point of view. On

one

hand, the supporters of the prior viewpoint say that authorities should allow a slight proportion of citizens to earn top

salaries

This

might be a good opinion

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because those who are paid extremely high might aid the poorest individuals in their areas. To elaborate more, consider my village as an example. There is a man who gets absolutely an excellent salary,

nevertheless

, an amount of his money is allocated to others whose

salaries

are not high.

As a result

, nearly everyone in my village now has his/ her own house. Despite the fact that he has billions and billions of dollars, some of his finances are dedicated to society.

On the other hand

, some citizens feel that governments should not give

salaries

above a certain line. I totally agree with them, since nowadays what can be seen from real life is that those who highly get paid do not care about anything

unless

Change preposition

except

show examples

themselves. At

this

point,

this

leads to crimes and assassinations. To contribute more, imagine that a person has a very top salary, and another

one

his financial money

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

barely cover his

family

Change noun form

family's

show examples

needs. What might happen if

one

of his family members gets sick, considering that he cannot afford the needed treatment? In

fact

Add a comma

fact,

show examples

this

example is a real

one

and it did happen to end with killing a businessman.

To conclude

, in my feeling authorities should not provide

salaries

above a certain line

due to

the

above mentioned

Add a hyphen

above-mentioned

show examples

Submitted by 2018161085.rus on Thu Aug 04 2022

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion could be more clear and structured. Ensure that you clearly state your opinion in the introduction and summarize your main points in the conclusion.

task achievement

Ensure that your examples directly support your main points and are relevant to the topic. Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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n many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

fossil fuel is the main source of energy. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. To what extent do you think is it a positive or negative development ?

in some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Young people today spend too much money and time following fashion trends (clothing, tech). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?