IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say government should give health care the first priorities , some others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayers' money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #health #care #first #priorities #taxpayers #money
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Nowadays, an increasing number of
people
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 started to discuss governments’ priority on tax spending. Some believe that
health
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care
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 is the most pivotal, while others contend that the government should emphasise other targets which are more critical. In the following paragraphs, both views will be discussed.
Additionally
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, I will express my perspective on the issue as well. The government, empowered by its
people
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, ought to take on the responsibility to secure and assist its citizens in any circumstances.
For example
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, it is crucial for governments to offer the necessary protection for their
people
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;
thus
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, some reckon that the budget spent on national defence should come
first
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; meanwhile, some individuals consider that for
people
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 who suffered from unemployment, authorities should provide subsidies enabling them to tide over their difficulties;
hence
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, the expense cannot be neglected as well.
However
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, with the limited fund, actions should be carried out discreetly. The budget spent on national defence and other categories does assuage the needs of
people
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 in different aspects.
However
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, among all the issues,
health
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care
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 has its importance.
Health
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 is the foundation of all,
people
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 who suffered from diseases and worrying
health
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 conditions are hard to be productive and contribute to society; with low productivity, the nation will not stand the chance to secure its future in both economic and political status.
Thus
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, for a government, it is important to provide sufficient
health
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care
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 for its citizens. In conclusion, when it comes to governments' priority of tax spending, to some extent, national defence and other categories do content the needs of its
people
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.
However
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, from my perspective,
health
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care
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 plays an indispensable role in society, providing basic yet irreplaceable services for
people
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. For which, it should be given the
first
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 priority.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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