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Writing Samples
Band 7

In numerous nations, there is a growing trend for individuals to frequently discuss financial matters, such as their earnings or expenditures, in everyday conversation. What are the reasons behind this phenomenon? Is it advantageous or detrimental? Angsa 2

In recent years,
people
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 started to pay more attention when it comes to finances. Some
people
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 claim that
this
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 will help encourage
people
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 to work harder in pursuit of better salaries,
while
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 others firmly believe that folks should focus on the inner values of individuals, not material ones.
This
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 essay will examine
this
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 phenomenon and conclude whether the effects of
this
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 trend are advantageous or not. In today's fast-paced world
money
Use synonyms
 is practically the most important thing.
Therefore
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, many
people
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 are wasting their lives trying to collect as much
money
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 as they possibly can. With
money
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, you can buy anything in today's world.
Furthermore
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,
money
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 can change every aspect of your everyday life significantly, and
due to
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 that
people
Use synonyms
 may be obsessed with finances.
As a result
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, many folks prioritize
money
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 over everything else in their lives.
As a result
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, they start talking more and more about
money
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.
Nevertheless
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, stress-related diseases are a big concern when it comes to earning
money
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. Nowadays, adults tend to spend more time working in pursuit of a promotion.
However
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,
this
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 may cause serious problems with both mental and physical health.
Additionally
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, focusing too much on
money
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 may result in a poor level of satisfaction and twisting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life objectives. It is evident that
money
Use synonyms
 shouldn't be your main goal in life. As all social animals, we need to have some social interactions with each other.
For example
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, recent research has revealed that folks who tend to spend less time with their families trying to gain more
money
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 have lower satisfaction levels (about 50%). In conclusion, after analyzing both sides of
this
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 argument I think it is obvious that
money
Use synonyms
 shouldn't be the main objective of any individual. Because the effects of
this
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 mindset are detrimental.

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task achievement
Clarify your main argument in the introduction to make it clearer what your stance is on whether the trend is advantageous or detrimental.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the key points you've made, which will help to reinforce your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words or phrases to enhance the flow of your essay and create clearer connections between your ideas.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument, which showcases critical thinking.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides relevant points, demonstrating understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial matters
  • earnings
  • expenditures
  • transparency
  • stigma
  • supportive environment
  • financial literacy
  • personal finance
  • social media influencers
  • cultural shift
  • taboo
  • mental health
  • peer comparison
  • consumer-driven societies
  • wealth
  • status
  • motivation
  • anxiety
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