IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people say that vertical city is best where people can live, while others say that horizontal cities are better. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #city #cities
Due
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 development in
this
 era, the design of buildings differs
base
Wrong verb form
based
show examples
 on an individual's personality and choice.
Hence
, individuals prefer a skyscraper structure to a downside building. A few numbers of persons say that the upside structure where people can reside is better while some Persons are saying the opposite.
This
 essay will highlight
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both views and my opinion will be stated. On
one
 hand, vertical structures are built in a way that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
consumes lesser space. Most individuals who see planting
interesting
Correct word choice
as interesting
show examples
 makes wise use of the space in creating a smaller garden for their own consumption.
In addition
, the beauty of nature is seen. Residing in an upside building gives the opportunity to see people every day before and after work hours.
This
 eludes
one
 from becoming depressed and isolated. There are
limited
Change the article
a limited
the limited
show examples
 number of visitors to be welcomed and sometimes privacy may not be given as the case may be. ,
Also
 space
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 carrying out certain activities won't be available.
For example
, in the case of having a naming
ceremony
Add a comma
,ceremony
show examples
 most people staying in the building might find it uncomfortable due to the loud noise from music and invitees.
On the other hand
, residing in a horizontal building creates
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a room for car parking , a gym and stores for storing up properties or items.
Furthermore
,
one
 can acquire a downside building by purchasing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
land and
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 same time a document as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proof of ownership is issued . In
this
 kind of ,structure millions of visitors can come around and stay with little or no inconveniences. More structures and desirable designs can be added by the owner without any restrictions. In conclusion, both structures are okay to reside in with loved ones or family but I will prefer to stay in a horizontal building because of privacy and avoid unnecessary quarrels
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one
 another.
Submitted by adaobihedioha12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: