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Band 6.5

More and more people are moving away from agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequence of this? What solutions can you offer?

#people #background #cities #work #consequence #offer
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Nowadays, most people move away from agricultural fields to other fields of work in the city for looking at their job.
However
, having most folks who decide to change their work field to another can cause grave consequences and can have an impact on the security of the country. In
this
 essay, I will provide what consequences of
this
decision
 for people who decide to relocate to cities to look for jobs, and I will give my solutions to solve
this
 problem.
Firstly
, the crucial problem of changing the job of people is the lack of workers in the agricultural background.
secondly
, having an excess of workers in other areas.
For example
, the lack of workers in the agricultural area can cause a shortage of agricultural yield because they decide to change their industry to another resulting in not having enough experts in the agricultural area, and another example is having an excess of employees in other fields can cause depression to their employees due to the fact that the organization will face more competitions in terms of marketing, investing and others.
As a result
, the boss will pressure their employee to work hard to live up to the organization's expectations. In my opinion, I think those outcomes of changing their task to another one can be solved.
Firstly
, attracting the community does not make a
decision
 to change their task by using more monetary incentives or privileges to them.
Secondly
, the government should distribute types of industries into various industries.
As a result
, the communities will have diverse choices to make a
decision
 for looking at their job. In conclusion, as many folks decide to migrate from the suburbs to the cities for looking at their task, the number of populations working in the agricultural field is decreased.
Therefore
, There are few grave consequences of taking
this
decision
 for the country.
Nevertheless
, if the government complied with the following suggestion, these issues may not have occurred.
Submitted by boatakrawin on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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