IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

ou live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter, • describe the situation • explain your problems and why it is difficult to work • say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear sir or madam I am writing to inform you of my dissatisfaction
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 my new
room
Use synonyms
 in college, which I have to share with another person.
This
Linking Words
 new situation gives me some difficulties I cannot do my work perfectly anymore. My roommate is studying music and he is always doing some tasks related to it
such
Linking Words
 as practicing guitar all day. Other classmates always gather in our
room
Use synonyms
 to have practical sessions or handle new projects they are involved with.
While
Linking Words
 it is a necessary task for him, he always
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 noises by playing his instrument
that
Correct word choice
so that
show examples
 I
am not be
Change the verb form
am not
show examples
 able to concentrate on my work .
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 I
am always have
Change the verb form
always have
show examples
 to tolerate their gathering because the
room
Use synonyms
 is really small and we do not have enough space to have our separate individual privacy. I would prefer to have a private
room
Use synonyms
 or at least share it with another master's degree student who is in the same condition as me. It definitely could help me to do my best for my final dissertation. I hope that you will address
these problem
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
 for me . Yours faithfully. Ostore hassani.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The description of the situation and problems is clear, but providing more specific examples or details could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
While the letter is generally well-organized, consider breaking up the second paragraph into two separate paragraphs to better differentiate between different problems.
task achievement
You have politely and clearly explained the issue and your preferred solution.
coherence cohesion
Your closing and greeting are appropriate and formal.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: