IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today technology and robots replace people in many areas. Why do you think this is a case? Is it a positive or negative development?

#technology #robots #people #areas #case #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
there is no doubt that these days
technology
Use synonyms
 get better day after day ,especially at
this
Linking Words
 time, so, some folks would like to get help from robots, while others believe it has to be in the human ring.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides and will draw me personal conclusion. On one hand, the person who prefers to have more
technology
Use synonyms
 in
life
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as a robot
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 has many positive things.
For example
Linking Words
, if you have a market you can just build a robot to work in the shop opposite hire people and pay a salary every month,
Although
Linking Words
, if someone wants to have a ticket for a movie he just can buy it on the phone which is a great thing in my opinion,
however
Linking Words
, the cost of
technology
Use synonyms
 is so high and it should take a time to use to it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other people would not trust
this
Linking Words
technology
Use synonyms
 ,especially old ones, because there is no
technology
Use synonyms
 in his
life
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 he would trust a human to help than
technology
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 there are many folks to help themself without any help of
technology
Use synonyms
 like some will choose to save money in the home
instead
Linking Words
 bank account,
however
Linking Words
, I believe it is a choice for using any
technology
Use synonyms
 in the personal
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both points of view, I believe that having
technology
Use synonyms
 in our
life
Use synonyms
 seems to be the optimum choice compared to not using any in
life
Use synonyms
 for several reasons I write it,
although
Linking Words
, the positives are more than negatives of
technology
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Mohsen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: