Some people believe that children’s time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. Others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is true that, extra
activity
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

enhance young
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

skills
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
might
Correct word choice
and might

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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effect
Correct your spelling
affect

The word effect doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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on
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their academic performance;
nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it has long been an issue of debate
Correct your spelling
whether

The word wether doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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wether
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whether

The word wether doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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offsprings' should indulge in other activities
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as sport, art and music classes or they need spare
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to relax and play. I,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, shed light on both contradictory sides before reaching
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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my personal
Correct your spelling
opinion
Correct your spelling
opinion

If you don’t want openion to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

openion
Correct your spelling
opinion
. On the
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

hand, "
learn
Wrong verb form
learning

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb learn. Consider changing it.

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several
skills
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

" is
perhaps
Add an article
a perhaps

The noun phrase perhaps prominent reason seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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prominent
Correct article usage
a prominent

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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reason why
Add an article
a child
the child
show examples
Add an article
a child
the child

The noun phrase child seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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should involve in other
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities

It seems that activity may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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outside
academy
Add an article
the academy

The noun phrase academy seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. To put it simply,
little
Add an article
the little

The noun phrase little one seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will learn numerous
skills
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as painting, singing or any
sport
Change the noun form
sports

It appears that the noun sport is being used as an adjective, but you may have chosen incorrectly between the singular and plural form. Consider changing the noun form.

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game, if they try
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

activity
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

after school.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in India majority of parents
Correct your spelling
encourage
Correct your spelling
encourage

If you don’t want incourage to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

incourage
Correct your spelling
encourage
their children to take part in games that
fruitful
Add a missing verb
are fruitful

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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to develop both physically and mentally.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is essential for
Add an article
a juvenile
the juvenile
show examples
Add an article
a juvenile
the juvenile

The noun phrase juvenile seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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juvenile
Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
show examples
to participate in other
skills
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in order to learn something new.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, all adolescents are not
same
Correct article usage
the same

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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they have different
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills

It seems that skill may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and by involving
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

activity
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

they get to know their expertise.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, multitasking at
early
Add an article
an early

The noun phrase early age seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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age would be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to

The preposition for after the adjective harmful may be incorrect. Consider changing it to another preposition.

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their mental health. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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, since little
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have
Change the verb form
has

The plural verb have does not appear to agree with the singular subject little one. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
education pressure in their life, putting extra burden on
their
Replace the word
there

The word their may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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should could
leads
Wrong verb form
lead

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb leads. Consider changing it.

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to anxiety. Canada could be an ideal example here, more than half
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of youth in
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada

It appears that the word canada may be a proper noun in this context. Consider capitalizing the word.

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face depression at
young
Add an article
a young

The noun phrase young age seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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age due to not having enough freedom in life.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, extra curriculum activities should be avoided which
profitable
Add a missing verb
are profitable

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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not only
in
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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mental health but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

in
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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focusing on education.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters

It seems that youngster may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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have
Change the verb form
has

The plural verb have does not appear to agree with the singular subject youngster. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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more free
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, they enjoy their childhood which is precious
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for every human
beings
Change noun form
being's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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life. To conclude,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

involving in other activities outside of
academy
Correct article usage
the academy

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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will enhance adolescents'
skills
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, as far as
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

show examples
am concerned,
little
Add an article
the little

The noun phrase little one seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should have spare
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to enjoy their childhood and these independents save them from mental
Correct your spelling
stress
trees
Correct your spelling
stress
trees

If you don’t want strees to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

strees
Correct your spelling
stress
.
Submitted by riyazpopatiya9 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • academic curriculum
  • hidden talents
  • instill discipline
  • teamwork
  • time management skills
  • unstructured play
  • fostering creativity
  • stress reduction
  • cognitive and emotional development
  • well-rounded upbringing
  • social interaction
  • personal growth
  • equilibrium
  • beneficial outcomes
What to do next:
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