Some people believe that children’s time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. Others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is true that, extra
activity
enhance young
one
skills
,
might
Correct word choice
and might
show examples
effect
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affect
show examples
on
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apply
show examples
their academic performance;
nevertheless
, it has long been an issue of debate
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
wether
Correct your spelling
whether
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offsprings' should indulge in other activities
such
as sport, art and music classes or they need spare
time
to relax and play. I,
however
, shed light on both contradictory sides before reaching
to
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apply
show examples
my personal
Correct your spelling
opinion
openion
Correct your spelling
opinion
. On the
one
hand, "
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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several
skills
" is
perhaps
Add an article
a perhaps
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prominent
Correct article usage
a prominent
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reason why
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a child
the child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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should involve in other
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
outside
academy
Add an article
the academy
show examples
. To put it simply,
little
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the little
show examples
one
will learn numerous
skills
such
as painting, singing or any
sport
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sports
show examples
game, if they try
this
activity
after school.
For example
, in India majority of parents
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encourage
incourage
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encourage
their children to take part in games that
fruitful
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are fruitful
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to develop both physically and mentally.
As a result
, it is essential for
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a juvenile
the juvenile
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juvenile
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juveniles
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to participate in other
skills
in order to learn something new.
Moreover
, all adolescents are not
same
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the same
show examples
they have different
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
and by involving
this
activity
they get to know their expertise.
On the other hand
, multitasking at
early
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an early
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age would be harmful
for
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to
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their mental health. To elaborate
it
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apply
show examples
, since little
one
have
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has
show examples
education pressure in their life, putting extra burden on
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
should could
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
to anxiety. Canada could be an ideal example here, more than half
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
of youth in
canada
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Canada
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face depression at
young
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a young
show examples
age due to not having enough freedom in life.
Therefore
, extra curriculum activities should be avoided which
profitable
Add a missing verb
are profitable
show examples
not only
in
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for
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mental health but
also
in
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for
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focusing on education.
Finally
, when
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
more free
time
, they enjoy their childhood which is precious
time
for every human
beings
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being's
show examples
life. To conclude,
although
involving in other activities outside of
academy
Correct article usage
the academy
show examples
will enhance adolescents'
skills
, as far as
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
am concerned,
little
Add an article
the little
show examples
one
should have spare
time
to enjoy their childhood and these independents save them from mental
Correct your spelling
stress
trees
strees
Correct your spelling
stress
.
Submitted by riyazpopatiya9 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • academic curriculum
  • hidden talents
  • instill discipline
  • teamwork
  • time management skills
  • unstructured play
  • fostering creativity
  • stress reduction
  • cognitive and emotional development
  • well-rounded upbringing
  • social interaction
  • personal growth
  • equilibrium
  • beneficial outcomes
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