IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The use of mobile phones should be banned in public spaces as libraries, transportations and shpos. To what extant do agree or disagree?

#phones #spaces #libraries #transportations #shpos
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, the mobile phone is a basic necessity for every individual. But some masses say that
phones
Use synonyms
 are prohibited in public spots. Here I am agreed with
this
Linking Words
 situation my statement and my arguments will be briefly described in an upcoming paragraph with a crystal clear conclusion. To commence with, a large no of the community says that mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 should ban in public
places
Use synonyms
 like libraries, shops and transportation. To elaborate, many
people
Use synonyms
 go to libraries for a peaceful environment because they can study properly there without any distractions libraries alwmaintainning silence but sometimes a few irresponsible persons are using cell
phones
Use synonyms
 in that place which disturbed others.
For instance
Linking Words
, I remember
last
Linking Words
 month I visited the library there one person is getting phone calls continuously he was attending all call
people
Use synonyms
 listening to him and feel
te
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 disturbance.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in public transport majority of
people
Use synonyms
 use a smartphone while travelling to their destination for work in that by tym, some
people
Use synonyms
 click a photo or record videos and Spoiled their peace of mind.
Thus
Linking Words
 the
phones
Use synonyms
 should restrict in public spots.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another big proportion against
this
Linking Words
 statement that an applying a ban on cell
phones
Use synonyms
 in social
places
Use synonyms
. In the other words,
phones
Use synonyms
 are most important for everyone because 80% of all
people
Use synonyms
 business by their smartphone in some
places
Use synonyms
 public telephone booths are available but in few
places
Use synonyms
, telephone both there are no telephone both nearby in
this
Linking Words
 situation faces a lot of difficulties To sum up, folks should aware to know where to use
phones
Use synonyms
 and where not yet, they do not try to disturb others and their attention.
Submitted by workhasdone on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: