Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, the general populace is more likely to be satisfied with all
situations
in their Use synonyms
life
, even terrible circumstances. Meanwhile, some Use synonyms
people
stand on Use synonyms
this
problem, meaning that they can’t accept a bad situation and take the bull by the horns to improve Linking Words
this
event. From my perspective, I see eye to eye with those {good} who believe that should strive to better these Linking Words
situations
. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I’m going to explain fully about the details.
On the one hand, some Linking Words
people
are pleased with everything that Use synonyms
life
brings to them. Because they think that taking chances is risky and can cause some problems. Use synonyms
Therefore
, they persistently cling to the notion that if they are willing to accept bad circumstances, at least they may feel safer and happier. In plain reality, there are quite a few Linking Words
people
who are apprehensive about new, difficult, and demanding tasks and Use synonyms
thus
, don’t want to spare any effort to have a better situation. Linking Words
Although
they can solve the given task in a radical way, they still follow the old path and comply with conventional principles as they are afraid to adjust.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, the general public believes that failure teaches success and I’m on the same page with those. It is concrete evidence to us that we are living in the modern era in which there is no shortage of individuals who are determined enough to strive for a more desirable Linking Words
life
. Without trying and improving Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
situations
, inventions Use synonyms
such
as light bulbs, electricity, computers, or the Internet would have never been devised. Linking Words
Although
the inventors had failed dramatically, they still made real efforts to accomplish inventions. Linking Words
Besides
, they can discover their abilities and improve their skills. Linking Words
Thus
, moving up in Linking Words
life
functions as a mechanism for evolution when we meet rough Use synonyms
situations
.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, Linking Words
although
there are always exceptions, we can not deny that making changes sometimes has quite dangerous consequences. What actually matters is the fact that Linking Words
people
should consider carefully prior to making changes.Use synonyms
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on
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task achievement
Your essay responds well to the task and presents both views clearly. However, your personal opinion could be integrated more seamlessly throughout the essay rather than just in the conclusion.
task achievement
Try to use more relevant and specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention particular historical figures or studies that illustrate how taking risks led to significant advancements.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are generally clear, some of your sentences are slightly awkward or unclear. For example, 'I see eye to eye with those {good}...' could be written more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to your thesis. This will help improve the coherence and logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines both perspectives and states your own opinion, which is good.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which enhances readability.
task achievement
You recognize that there are both advantages and disadvantages to each viewpoint, showing a balanced approach.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example