Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
NOWADAYS,
OBESITY
PREVALENCE HAS BEEN RISING AMONGST CHILDREN
. WHILE ONE WIDELY HOLD THE OPINION THAT THE MAIN REASON FOR THIS
PROBLEM IS GOVERNMENTS' IRRESPONSIBLE ATTITUDES, OTHERS DISAGREE. I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THE LATTER SIDE OF ARGUE AND THIS
ESSAY WILL EXPLAIN WHY CHILDREN
'S HEALTH IS RELATED TO THEIR PARENTS
' ATTITUDES RATHER THAN GOVERNMENTS.
FIRST
AND FOREMOST, CHILDREN
ARE LIKE SPONGES WHILE THEY ARE BEING UPBROUGHT. BECAUSE OF THIS
FACT, IF PARENTS
ENCOURAGED THEIR CHILDREN
TO EAT HEALTHY FOOD, OBESITY
WOULD BE LESSENED. TO AN EXTENT, WHEN A CHILD IS SERVED FRENCH FRIES FOUR TIMES A WEEK OR NOT PREVENTED FROM PROCESSED FOOD BY PARENTS
, GAINING WEIGHT OR OBESITY
WOULD BE SEEN AS AN INEVITABLE CONSEQUENCE. BESIDES
COOKING OR PROVIDING HEALTHY FOODS, PARENTS
SHOULD BE ROLE MODELS TO THEIR CHILDREN
THROUGH THEIR EATING HABITS.
SECONDLY
, THE LACK OF PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES OR SPENDING A LOT OF TIME IN FRONT OF COMPUTERS ARE THE OTHER REASONS FOR BEING AN OBESE. AT THAT POINT, ENCOURAGING CHILDREN
TO SPORTS OR CREATING AN ENVIRONMENT CONDUCIVE TO FACE-TO-FACE ACTIVITIES CAN BE COUNTED AS PARENTS
' RESPONSIBILITIES INSTEAD
OF GOVERNMENTS. FOR INSTANCE
, RESTRICTED COMPUTER HOURS OR COMPULSORY PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES WITH FAMILY MEMBERS CAN BE ORGANISED BY PARENTS
. LESS IMMOBILITY AND MORE ACTIVITY MAY HELP TO BURN CALORIES AND PREVENT CHILDREN
FROM BEING AN OBESE.
TO SUM UP, PARENTS
HAVE AN ESSENTIAL ROLE IN THEIR CHILDREN
'S HEALTH. AS LONG AS THEY DO NOT TAKE A CHARGE OF THEIR CHILDREN
'S DAILY ROUTINES, OBESITY
WILL BE A SERIOUS AND UNPREVENTABLE PROBLEM AMONG CHILDREN
.Submitted by dt.essrademir on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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