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Band 6

Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#countries #shops #products #consider #development
Nowadays, there are
bunch
Add an article
a bunch
show examples
 of
shops
 and
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of
products
 booming in various
countries
. Some people might consider
this
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a positive development and some might consider them
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 negative
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
. In my opinion, I vouch that it is completely a positive note. On one hand, in
this
 modern era a
lot
 of things are getting developed
similarly
 there are
shops
 and
products
 are opening their branches in different
countries
 which is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 sign because the market is blooming on top of
this
 a large variety of
products
 are being available to a
lot
 more population. The
shops
 used to
specific
Add a missing verb
be specific
show examples
 to
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
countries
 only and all the
products
 were not available in all places. People started using online
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 to reach their needs, where a
lot
 of people got swayed by different fake websites.
In
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
 ended up buying fake
products
 as well.
For example
, when I was on a trip to London I pampered myself with some
skin care
Correct your spelling
skincare
show examples
 goodies and I absolutely loved using them,
however
 when I wanted to refill my
products
 I couldn’t find them anywhere in India. So I tried finding them online, I was completely elated and ordered them but ended up getting the fake ones. So problems like
this
 can be solved and it would be more convenient
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the population across the world.
On the other hand
, to open
shops
 in different
countries
 a
lot
 of deforestation is happening and the land is conquered by the industrialists in order to construct buildings. The environment is getting spoiled leading to
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of consequences.
For example
, I purchased a villa because it had a beautiful view of the
tress
Correct your spelling
trees
show examples
 right
next
 to my house and
also
 for proper ventilation. In
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 months all the
Correct your spelling
trees
show examples
tress
Correct your spelling
trees
show examples
 were cut off and a shopping mall was constructed. To conclude, According to
me
Add a comma
,me
show examples
 it is a positive development because to reach the needs of the growing population it is better to have many branches in various different
countries
 as it would be accessible to residents in
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of locations.
Submitted by varsh201 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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