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Writing Samples
Band 5

These days many people prefer working at home instead of going to their working place. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#people #home #place
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Nowadays,
people
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 have a different opinion about
work
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,some prefer to go to the office and spend the
day
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 there.
While
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others
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 think working from home is the better option.Clearly, each one of them has a good reason to make that choice. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand,going to the office can be a spectacular idea if you are a sociable person.
For instance
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,extroverts always adore interacting with
others
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due to
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 their outgoing personality.
Furthermore
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, studies have shown that workers are more productive
while
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 they are working with
others
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.
On the other hand
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,we have to spend a few hours going to
work
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 every
day
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 which is consuming our time.
Others
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 choose to
work
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 remotely which can be a smart option
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 for those who are looking for comfort.To illustrate,
people
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 can wake up late and enjoy a delightful breakfast
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the balcony before they start working
instead
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 of running every
day
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 to catch the bus.
As a result
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, they are going to save energy and be more productive at
work
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 which is a gain for the company and workers.
However
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,staying home all
day
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 can cause some health issues
such
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 as heart disease,
blood
Correct word choice
high blood
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 pressure and diabetes
due to
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 limited movement.
Moreover
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, it can affect mental health especially if the person does not practice any sports or does not meet anyone after
work
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.
To sum up
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,
people
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 should be careful
while
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 making choices about their
work
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 environment.because it can have a huge impact on our lives and health.For that
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 should take into consideration their ability to survive in both situations.
Submitted by kaoutar.eljaouhari50 on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer introduction and conclusion that directly address the advantages and disadvantages of working from home.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your writing.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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