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Band 4.5

Some people say that all popular TV entertainment programmes should aim to educate viewers about important social issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #tv #entertainment #programmes #aim #viewers
There are
people
 claiming that each popular
TV
 programme on recreation should focus on the education of crucial social
issues
. In my opinion, even though it is a good way to spread social
issues
 through
TV
 shows that hold considerable numbers of viewers, it is an exorbitant demand and put the cart before the horse for
entertainment
show
Fix the agreement mistake
shows
show examples
. Those in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of enhancing the awareness of social problems through popular
TV
 shows believe that most popular
TV
 shows like comedies, music shows,
variety
Correct word choice
and variety
show examples
 are delivering less value and it is a waste of time to watch
TV
 just for
entertainment
 purposes,
thus
 changing the goal to educate the audience on crucial social problems can increase their social value. For the other programmes that are
People
 watch
TV
entertainment
 shows because they can release pressure and make them feel
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
, and if too many educational factors are put into the shows,
people
 will lose
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
interest in watching them, which will reduce their popularity.
For example
, Big Bowl is one of the most famous
TV
 shows and
people
 like to watch it for fun, and if the show changed its target from entertaining
people
 to educating them, it will not be as relaxing as before to watch it. For
entertainment
 programmes like comedies, cartoons and so on, entertaining the audience should be the
first
 target, and with the scope of
ability
Add a comma
,ability
show examples
 they may take some educational content about social problems like climate change , gender equality etc into consideration. In conclusion, Entertaining
TV
 shows can add some elements and
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
 on social
issues
 education,
however
, changing
purpose
Correct pronoun usage
their purpose
show examples
 will make them less popular and they should still take
enetertainment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
 function as the
first
 priority
instead
 of education.
Furthermore
, educational channels that are concentrated on some social
issues
, some documentaries on climate change
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, should be promoted wider to receive more followers.
Submitted by mengjia.ma on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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