IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

All children should study a foreign language in school, starting in the earliest grades. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #study #language #school #grades
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In all the schools all the
children
 must study at least one foreign
language
 regardless of their age or grade.
This
 is what most institutions around the world do. I agree to educate the
children
 in another
language
besides
 their native
language
. That's why it is important to teach a foreign
language
. Most schools are teaching a foreign
language
 to all the
children
 starting in the earliest grades. There are several reasons to make them study a foreign
language
 . One of the most important reasons is that most jobs and universities require a second
language
 to enter . If someone can not speak a foreign
language
 he would not be qualified for most jobs nowadays. Plus he or she can not go study abroad if he or she can not speak a Another important reason is to make the cultures open to each other and be aware of the news that happens in other places.
Moreover
, To stay updated on the newest inventions and technologies.
For example
, if the people of the country can not speak a foreign
language
 they will be always a couple of steps behind other countries.
Also
, If someone travels to another country and he does not know a foreign
language
 he will not be able to communicate and speak with the people there.
To conclude
, Learning a new
language
 is very important for developing the country and staying updated with the news around the world. So all the schools must teach a second
language
 to all the
children
 from the early grades.
Submitted by mustafa_dervis on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay provides a clear response to the task, but the ideas are not fully developed. It would be beneficial to elaborate on each point and provide more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack depth. The essay could benefit from stronger transitions and clearer connections between ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: