some people believe that childhood is the best stage of happiness. While others believe that a person can enjoy more happiness in other stages of life. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

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Whilst, childhood is considered the sole period when
people
are allowed to live happily by certain
individuals
, others contend that being happy in
life
is not defined by a certain period but rather
different
Change preposition
by different
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experiences in different periods. It is my contention that enjoying the
life
we live is not regulated by our childhood since
,
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everyone can still have joyful
life
experiences at distinctive
life
periods. First and foremost, the preliminary reason why certain
individuals
have an erroneous conception implying that
people
can merely be happy during
pre-adolescence
Add an article
the pre-adolescence
a pre-adolescence
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period is because of the traumatic
life
experiences that they have undergone at
forward
Correct article usage
the forward
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stages of their lives. To cite an example, juveniles are not expected to settle with serious responsibilities at
such
young ages, but these responsibilities pile up on their shoulders as they mature,
therefore
, compelling them to be overwhelmed by
life
activities completely disregarding personal enjoyment. From my perspective, happiness is
bail
Wrong verb form
bailed
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down to individual preferences because
people
can still find a justification to be happy during times of hardship.
On the other hand
, being happy in heart is a personal choice and everyone can find gratification in different
life
occasions regardless of their age. It goes without saying that
people
with healthy mindsets mastered the art of enjoying
life
even during the hardest challenges they encounter in their daily lives. Undoubtedly,
this
gives them the ability to deduce a positive takeaway in negative
life
occasions, alleviating the criticality of conditions by optimistically evaluating these conditions. It is worthwhile noting that anxiety is one of the most notorious stressors that can derail
people
's lives.
Consequently
, being able to have a positive outlook will always help
individuals
to pursue a peaceful and healthier lifestyle. In conclusion,
although
a handful of
individuals
claim that
people
can solely be happy when they are under the eighteen age mark, I think there is no
an
Correct article usage
apply
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age limit for a human to enjoy his/her
life
and everyone should be able to see things positively even the odds are stacked against us.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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Task Achievement
To improve in task achievement, make sure to fully address all parts of the question directly. Incorporate more specific examples to substantiate your views, which will help develop your arguments more thoroughly and make your points more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
For higher coherence and cohesion, aim for a clear progression of ideas with appropriately used linking devices. While your essay demonstrates good logical structure, integrating more varied and sophisticated connectors would enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs, adding to the clarity and cohesion of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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