IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

Some people believe that individuals are responsible for their happiness, while others argue that it is related to factors from personal life. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #happiness #factors #life
A section of society is of the opinion that citizens are responsible for their own joy.
However
,others opine that factors
such
 as money and Stable occupation are linked to enjoyment.I concord with the latter because finance brings joy.
This
 essay will discuss both sides of the argument as well as my stance in the subsequent paragraphs with examples On the one hand,some people claim that it is the duty of an individual to be happy because it comes from within.A person can remember past events to start laughing.For ,example ,I normally remember my honeymoon to gain pleasure .If the person does not prepare their minds it will be difficult for them to be satisfied.
Hence
 satisfaction comes from our minds.
On the other hand
, some schools of thought and I are of the opinion that finances and Job make an individual elated.When a person has money ,they can visit the recreational centre to release some stress when depressed.All these places need money before they can get there.For ,example Mr Issiful normally travels to Dubai to release stress and be elated.
In addition
,stable jobs help employees to be happy .Workers get satisfaction from working in a group by improving their social skills. Some people
also
 get satisfaction from salaries gain at the end of the month because it will help them improve their standard of living.
Therefore
 income and career make an individual happy. In conclusion, while some folk believe that elation is the responsibility of an individual,I and some people opine that the elation of an individual is linked with income and good occupation.
Submitted by agozie2018 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!