IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some believe technology has made our lives too complex and the solution is to lead a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#believe #technology #lives #life
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Nowadays, there is a challenging discussion about the function of
technology
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 in the community ,one group believes
technology
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 has been responsible for complicated lifestyles,so, it must remove from life ,
however
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,I disagree with
this
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 statement that automation must vanish ,so ,I am going to discuss
this
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 viewpoint to reach a direct solution. In a beginning ,some people opine that development of machinery has
been
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made many problems for people and for their opinion they have been exampled for getting a job , they have to learn the
last
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 version of computer programs
such
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 as Excel ,Word ,and SPSS ,while, in the past , all activities had done by human's brain ,
in addition
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 of , smartphones and artificial intelligence has been widely spreading in daily activities ,
for example
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, when costumers will go to a restaurant they must use QR codes to observe the menu ,so, all of
this
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 has been
complicated
Add an article
a complicated
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 process to drink a coffee.
However
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, machinery innovations have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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created many convenient methods for the community
such
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 as
,
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apply
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present transportation system are providing short journeys in long distances and
this
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 progress is depended on the newest
tchnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 equipment,
furthermore
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, laptops and computers in remote schools are available to local students ,so, they can access great classes by simply pushing their fingers on their laptops. In conclusion, the elimination of
technology
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 will stop the development of society in many directions
such
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 as education and transportation and it means individuals have to spend the rest of the day on primary activities
such
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 as drawing a table for accounting
instead
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 of usage from computer programs or many hours will waste on the roads to reach destinations ,so , I disagreed with the removal
technology
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 ,it seems
that is
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 a deviation from right thinking .
Submitted by homa.ebrahimi987 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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