Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Since ancient times
people
tried to treat themselves
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
herbals and
another natural products
Replace the adjective
another natural product
other natural products
show examples
.
In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
days
this
type of
treatment
is
named as
Verb problem
called
show examples
alternative
medicine
. Nowadays, more and more
people
with some diseases decide to use
alternative
medicines
instead
of classic
medicine
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will try to discuss
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
and cons. In my opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages of using traditional
medicine
. The first reason is that nobody knows how
this
treatment
will affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a person’s health. There are a lot of cases when using different herbals caused allergic
reaction
Fix the agreement mistake
reactions
show examples
and some
people
dead
Replace the word
died
show examples
. The next reason is that
people
who do not have any medical education try
alternative
medicines. They do not know what the result will be and hope that it will be positive but not always is like that.
Although
there are a lot of disadvantages,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
might make
people
not go to
usual
Add an article
the usual
a usual
show examples
doctor. The first and the main pro is that using herbals does not cause environmental problems
such
as air pollution or gas waste. Many pharmaceutical plants use chemicals which have harmful
affect
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
on the environment. The other reason is that
alternative
medicines are usually much cheaper than usual
Fix the agreement mistake
treatments
show examples
treatment
as you do not have to go to
pharmacy
Add an article
the pharmacy
a pharmacy
show examples
and buy expensive drugs. To sum it up, the
alternative
treatment
will be forever because it has some advantages which many
people
think that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can outweigh the disadvantages but I do not think so.
The conventional
Correct article usage
Conventional
show examples
medicine
which develops
rocketly
Correct your spelling
rockets
rocket
rocketry
will drive out other types of
treatment
in the future.
Submitted by mohammadkashif934 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: