IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many think that all decisions within a company should be made by managers whereas others feel it is better to include employees in the process. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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It is often argued that the accord within an organisation should be taken only by high-level authority
while
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 in ,contrast it is better to add personnel to
this
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 process.In ,
this
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 we will discuss both these views and at least give my own perception. On the one hand,most of the crowd suggest that staff should be included in the decision taken by management. Numerous reasons are there to support
this
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 statement.
Firstly
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, the problems of the team will be solved efficiently.To explain it, the verdict taken by high authorities will be more accurate and implemented in a better way at the ground level when unions of the company are included in their agenda.The chances of conflict between them will be minimal.
Moreover
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,it will
boast
Correct your spelling
boost
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 the morale of staff.
For example
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, the government of India
implements
Wrong verb form
implemented
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 farm laws without taking farmers into confidence and the result was there was a huge agitation worldwide.
As a result
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, the administration had to move back from its judgment.So it is better to include the crowd in the ruling.
On the other hand
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,some people think it will affect the privacy and secrecy of the company.To epitome,some managers think that adding
institute
Correct article usage
an institute
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 to the high-level agenda will affect the morale of management and privacy and secrecy will
effects
Verb problem
be affected
show examples
.
For instance
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,at the time of war conferences held by high-level authorities are so secret that judgments taken by them are kept secretly at the upper level.During the Kargil war resolutions were taken by upper officials and those verdicts were implemented at low levels.And even the morale of managers will be increased.
Hence
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, results taken by management will be implemented in a better way.
To conclude
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,it is true that high officials' records are often kept secret but in , my opinion it is better for both organisations to include troops in their slate.

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coherence and cohesion
Clarify the introduction and ensure it has a clear thesis statement outlining both sides of the argument and your opinion. This will make your essay's purpose clearer from the outset.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use linking words and phrases more effectively to connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will help enhance the flow and make your argument easier to follow.
task achievement
Provide more detailed explanations and examples to support your points. This could include specific situations where including staff in decisions has led to positive outcomes, not just general statements.
task achievement
You presented both views thoughtfully and included a clear opinion at the end of the essay, which shows good engagement with the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Centralized authority
  • Top-down approach
  • Autocratic leadership
  • Managerial hierarchy
  • Operational efficiency
  • Accountability
  • Competence
  • Employee empowerment
  • Participative decision-making
  • Workplace democracy
  • Morale
  • Consensus
  • Bottom-up approach
  • Cross-functional collaboration
  • Organizational culture
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