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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Because of falling birth rates and better healthcare, the world’s population is getting steadily older and this trend is going to cause serious problems for society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#birth #rates #healthcare #world’s #population #trend #society
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Due to big changes happening in the world, the amount of procreation is going down, while the healthcare system is improving day-to-day.
This
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 phenomenon leads to the ageing of
the
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society and might have a negative impact. I definitely agree with
this
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 idea and
this
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 essay will discuss the arguments that support my point of view. Nowadays, people choose to keep the birth rates low as life became more challenging daily. From the busy lifestyle to the strict working hours, parents find less time to give to their children and
therefore
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 stick to one or two children per family.
On the other hand
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, a noticeable development has been noted in the health industry. The older population benefited from
this
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 improvement because a large number of diseases are now curable due to early detection and effective treatment and it led to an increase in the living rate. So what are the damages that might happen due to
this
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 trend ?
First
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 of all, the youth plays a very important role in
the
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society's economic balance as they are the producers and active workers. The decline in their amount leads to an imbalance that will negatively impact the whole population.
For instance
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, the elderly will keep consuming while the resources produced will drop.
Secondly
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, people at a geriatric age become more dependent on their younger children. Nursing homes,
for example
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, are full of grandparents who are in need of care and support, and that
also
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 impacts indirectly the economical balance. To recapitulate, it is important to keep a moderate rate of procreation to prevent social problems that might impact
the
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society individually or on a larger scale.
Submitted by fatimazahra.kanbar on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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