Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Throughout the period from the
anicent
Correct your spelling
ancient
to modern societies,
music
played an important role in our daily life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and even had
an
Change the article
a
show examples
significant impact on us. There are many advantages of
music
bring to individuals,
for example
, releasing one's stress by listening to
music
is helpful because
music
is an effective medicine for someone who was
broken-heart
Correct your spelling
broken heart
show examples
.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
some research
proved
Correct pronoun usage
that proved
show examples
that
music
can motivate an individual's inspiration, making them become more creative and innovative when they spend more time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
listening to
music
. Not only for adults but
also
important for children to learn with
music
.
However
, some people have different
Correct your spelling
opinions
opinons
Correct your spelling
opinions
on
music
,
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
they opposed to
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
music
Change preposition
of music
show examples
due to the negative impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
society. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
musicians
Add an article
the musicians
show examples
would write
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lyrics related to sex and violence in their
song
Fix the agreement mistake
songs
show examples
, along with the popularity of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
nowadays, these songs became well-known and even built a trend
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Obviously, some parents might be worried that the songs would result in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
negative influence on their children. Thinking of the behaviours described in the lyrics were trendy, trying to imitate the behaviours of musicians or their peers. In conclusion,
music
had both advantages and drawbacks above mentioned. In my opinion,
music
is very vital not only for the people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but our societies because we all realized the benefits of
music
, it can heal one's heart and give us support when we felt disappointed. Overall, the negative influence of
music
caused by human beings,
how
Correct word choice
and how
show examples
to apply
music
cleverly is the key to
music
.
Submitted by dona32939 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Harmony
  • Melody
  • Rhythm
  • Socio-cultural
  • Artistic expression
  • Cognitive development
  • Soundtrack
  • Moral implications
  • Acoustic ecology
  • Intellectual property
  • Authenticity
  • Commercialization
  • Media literacy
  • Sensory overload
  • Acculturation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: