IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that government should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individual should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include example from your own experience.

#people #government #care #support #years #fund #retirement
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Although
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 it is sometimes thought that old
people
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 after getting retired should be aided financially by the
government
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, whilst other
people
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 have a notion that
money
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 should be saved by the person himself during their working period. In my opinion, I consider that by saving
money
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 from the beginning of their career, old
people
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 would not have a dependency on others,
hence
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, they can enjoy their post-retirement
life
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. On one hand, it is often believed that
government
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 should provide financial assistance to senior citizens because they have contributed much to the betterment of the country when they were young.
In other words
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, old
people
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 had paid taxes throughout their working
life
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,
therefore
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, it is now the
government
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’s responsibility to look after them when they reach their old age and are no longer in a condition to earn
money
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.
For example
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, in Singapore,
people
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, when entered to the age of sixties, their
government
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 provides them with the monthly stipulated amount. In
this
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 way, old
people
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 there, have a relaxed
life
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 after retirement.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 think that young
people
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 ought to save a certain amount of
money
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 from their monthly income in order to avoid dependency on others and enjoy their old age. Because
,
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apply
show examples
 family or
government
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 could only fulfil basic needs for a limited time,
also
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, it would be unethical to rely totally on them.
For example
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, my grandparents opened a joint account after they got married, in which they both used to deposit a certain amount of
money
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 from their monthly income. Now, after ,retirement they are not living an independent
life
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 but
also
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, they are enjoying their
life
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 by travelling to places and doing whatever they desire. To conclude, despite
people
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 having different opinions regarding the financial responsibility of old
people
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. I personally reckon that young
people
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 should aid their own retirement in order to lead an independent
life
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 of one’s own choice
Submitted by atoosa_1398 on

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