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Band 5.5

Some people think that hosting an international sporting event is beneficial for a country, while others disagree. Do the advantages of hosting a major sporting event outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #event #country
Some individuals are of the opinion that hosting multinational
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
tournament
 is advantageous for the
host
Nation
.
Although
 some people disagree with
this
 view. Personally, I think it has
a great benefits
Correct the article-noun agreement
great benefits
a great benefit
show examples
 because it increases the economic
growth
 of the
State
 and infrastructural development,but not without a drawback. There are some distinct advantages of
been
Change the form of the verb
being
show examples
 a
host
State
 of
multinational
Correct article usage
a multinational
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
tournament
.
Firstly
, there is increased economic
growth
 because many
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
, sportsmen and women will
flee
Replace the word
fly
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from different States thereby
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 the
Change the adjective
internally
show examples
internal
Replace the word
internally
show examples
 generated revenue.
For example
, the Commonwealth games held in
Brimingham
Correct your spelling
Birmingham
 attracted over 500 thousand sportsmen and women and spectators who Lodged ,shopped and travelled
round
Correct your spelling
around
show examples
 the city.
Secondly
, there is infrastructural development within the
Nation
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 hosting location. The country will not allow other Nations to see them in their worst
state
, so they use it as an opportunity to improve the overall scenery of the
State
.
Thus
, it is obvious that multinational
sports
tournament
 benefits the
host
Nation
 in terms of financial
growth
.
On the other hand
, there is one major drawback to the hosting of world
sports
tournament
Fix the agreement mistake
tournaments
show examples
. At
first
, the country
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
 more which runs them into debt that takes years to pay.
This
 means that they spend heavily on
this project
Fix the agreement mistake
these projects
show examples
 like building
standard
Add an article
the standard
a standard
show examples
stadium
Fix the agreement mistake
stadiums
show examples
, hotels hospitals and other facilities which might not be used to generate any
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 after the event.
For example
, it is estimated that about $100 billion was spent on the just
conclude
Change the form of the verb
concluded
show examples
 Olympic games held in Beijing, which is quite exorbitant for a
nation
 with the recent inflation all over the world. So, without
doubt
Add the comma(s)
,doubt
show examples
gelding
Add a comma
,gelding
show examples
 a
sports
 event runs the
countries
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 economy dry and
also
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 with indebtedness. Conclusively, I believe that
been
Change the form of the verb
being
show examples
 a
host
Nation
 for Multinational
sports
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
 has both merit and demerit.
However
, the benefits
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the drawbacks because it increases the
countries over
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 development
both
Change preposition
of both
show examples
 capital and structural
growth
.
Submitted by brefobhernis on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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