THE FOREST AND THE NEED TO PRESERVE IT. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?
Nowadays, green spaces and forests are being removed in order to expand cities.
This
phenomenon is becoming more popular than it used to be, which, in my opinion, is impacting our planet in a negative way . So what are the reasons why we should preserve the earth's lungs ?
First of all, we were taught from an early age that forests play an important role in cleansing the air through a process called photosynthesis, which consists of transforming mostly carbon dioxide and water into oxygen. By cutting trees, we minimize the amount of chemical energy that is
being produced and therefore
contribute to the pollution of planet earth
. Capitalize word
Earth
For instance
, big cities with minimal green areas, like New York or Hong Kong, are the most polluted and have the highest percentage of respiratory diseases in their populations.
Secondly
, forests represent the natural habitat for many wild animals. Taking the Amazon's jungle as an example, it contains an important amount of tropical creatures, such
as Koalas and Kangaroos, that are dying because of human damage. By preserving these green locations, we contribute to lowering their rate of extinction and therefore
keep nature balanced.
To summarize, it is crucial to preserve the remaining green spaces on our planet and try to minimize the damage that has already been done. By planting more trees and protecting them, we are preserving the earth for future generations.Submitted by fatimazahra.kanbar on
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coherence cohesion
The essay addresses the topic, yet could provide a more nuanced exploration of the issue discussed. While the introduction and conclusion are present, the transition between ideas should be smoother and the main points could be more fully developed and supported with a wider range of examples.
task achievement
The response to the task is adequate but lacks depth. Both the reasons for preserving forests and the consequences of not doing so could be explored in greater detail. The content would benefit from the inclusion of specific, developed examples, and a broader discussion of the implications.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite