n numerous nations, there is a growing trend for individuals to frequently discuss financial matters, such as their earnings or expenditures, in everyday conversation. What are the reasons behind this phenomenon? Is it advantageous or detrimental?
There is an increasing tendency for individuals in the modern world to openly discuss their finances in daily conversation. In my opinion,
this
is a result of a general lack of self-awareness and is decidedly negative given the opportunity cost it engenders.
The primary reason many people today are prone to talk about their financial dealings originates in society generally. In the past, a sense of modesty or concern for decorum might have compelled reticence. Today, some of the most widely discussed topics in the media, online, in film, and in literature concern cryptocurrencies, the real estate market, stock equities, the price of gold, and other investments. A person discussing these matters is likely only interested in subtle boasting or venting frustrations without awareness of the emotions or engagement of their interlocutor. The result over time has been that many people have developed a shameless habit.
In my view, discussion
finances often precludes a number of more worthwhile topics of conversation. Since the majority of useful financial research can be conducted online or done in professional settings, there are more pressing areas that should be discussed in daily life. Replace the word
discussing
For example
, two friends having a conversation at a cafe would derive greater value from telling stories, joking with one another, or delving into a more serious topic related to politics, the arts, or psychology. Such
discussions are likely to develop their understanding of the world and their emotional intelligence. Discussion of money, on the other hand
, wastes valuable time and energy for little concrete outcome.
In conclusion, the inclination to speak of one’s personal finances stems from a fundamentally modern self-indulgence and often prevents the discussion of more enjoyable or meaningful topics. Naturally, these generalizations do not apply to all individuals.Submitted by m.karbasi1370 on
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task achievement
To improve, you might consider adding a specific example or anecdote to further illustrate your point about society's influence on financial discussion. This would make your argument even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
To elevate your score, ensure your transitions between paragraphs are slightly more varied. While your essay flows well, a little more complexity in your transition sentences could enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear and well-organized argument, with an introduction that outlines the topic and a conclusion that succinctly wraps up your points. This structure is strong and effective.
task achievement
The main points in your essay are well-supported with logical reasoning. You clearly explained why people might discuss finances more openly today and effectively argued your stance on its detriments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.