IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that cars are the best to use in cities while others think that bicycle are better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion?

There are two beliefs about transport options in the capital
,
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 or bike. using cars in
cities
Use synonyms
Linking Words
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 contrast to riding
bicycles
Punctuation problem
bicycles,
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 is a matter which
has
Verb problem
does
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 not
a
Verb problem
have a
show examples
single answer.
both
Fix capitalization
Both
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 of them have their own pros and cons
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 we will discuss. I opine with the
later
Use the right word
latter
show examples
 view. From one point of view, riding a bicycle is one of the best choices in crowded
city
Use synonyms
 transport and is very helpful to reduce noise and traffic.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Amsterdam, the number of bikes is 1.7 times more than the number of cars
Linking Words
therefore
Punctuation problem
; therefore
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the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 traffic in
this
Linking Words
city
Use synonyms
 is significantly lower than the same population
Use synonyms
city
Check wording
apply
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in other countries
Punctuation problem
. However
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Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
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 it should not be forgotten that
this
Linking Words
 choice has some prerequisites that must be considered.
first
Fix capitalization
First
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 of all, the architecture of the
city
Use synonyms
 is the most important part.
This
Linking Words
means
Punctuation problem
means,
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 is there
any
Correct determiner usage
a
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 dedicated lane for bicycles on the street? because the safety of the riders has the highest priority.
based
Fix capitalization
Based
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 on Dr John Smith's research
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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has
Verb problem
was
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 published
on
Change preposition
in
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 2019 in
New
Correct article usage
the New
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 York Times, the number of bicycle accidents in
cities
Use synonyms
 without bicycle routes is 72.3% higher than in those which have them.
Linking Words
on
Fix capitalization
On
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 the other hand, using the
car
Use synonyms
 is an undeniable need of the 21st century
;
Punctuation problem
,
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 especially in developed
cities
Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
where
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 places are located not close to each other and moving between them without a vehicle is not possible.
Linking Words
besides
Fix capitalization
Besides
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, sometimes the time is too tight
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 we need to reach the place in a short time
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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possible
Verb problem
be possible
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 by bike. Anyhow, we must consider that the major problem of using a
car
Use synonyms
 is finding a place to park and avoiding drivers who do not obey the driving principles. I believe using the
car
Use synonyms
 is more efficient
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 when people want to carry items or move the
elder
Replace the word
elderly
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 it is required to check all available places to go and to park
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; otherwise
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otherwise
Punctuation problem
otherwise,
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this
Linking Words
 will cause a massive problem. In conclusion, travelling by
car
Use synonyms
 is easier and more
reachable
Correct word choice
convenient
show examples
 and better for
cities
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 we must consider environmental care and try to keep the ease and care balanced.

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planning
Plan before you write. Start with a short intro that states the topic and your view. Then two body parts for bike and car, each with a clear point and example. End with a short conclusion that restates your view.
structure
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph to show your main line.
cohesion
Use simple linking words to show order: First, Also, On the other hand, However, Finally.
content
Give more real and simple facts or examples and check facts you use.
grammar
Check grammar: subject and verb, plural form, and prepositions.
tone
Keep tone calm and neutral and avoid claims that are not true.
structure
You discuss both sides.
position
You state your view in the end.
content
You use an example to show bikes can help traffic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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