IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people prefer to directly help or support people in need in the local community. However, others choose to give money to the national or international organizations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #support #community #money #organizations
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The act of rendering
alms
Use synonyms
 known as charity to
people
Use synonyms
 depends on an individual's personality. While some
people
Use synonyms
 choose to render help directly to the
community
Use synonyms
 , a few others options to do theirs through national or international
organizations
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
, essay both views will be analysed and my opinion will be stated.
An almsgiving
Remove the article
Almsgiving
show examples
 is an act of rendering help to
people
Use synonyms
 who are less privileged especial those who are handicapped or physically challenged. There are reasons why some
people
Use synonyms
 choose to render
alms
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 in person. One for recognition and
secondly
Linking Words
 for publicity.
For example
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 , an individual who is not well known in a
community
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 and has an ambition of becoming prominent in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society uses
this
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 means to gain attention and more with the use of mobile phones video is been captured and sent to the internet for other viewers who weren't present,
thus
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 for history purpose as well. Again
people
Use synonyms
 do so just to get praise and do a show-off. ,
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Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
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 some individual feels that there could be an incomplete mission if
such
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 is given to another
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is mistrust.
In addition
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, individual wants to get self-satisfaction over what
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 organized for the
community
Use synonyms
 and positive feedback as well.
On the other hand
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, giving
alms
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 to international
organizations
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 in other to help
people
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 various communities ,through
this
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 means prevents
people
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 from the danger which is fear of the unknown.
For example
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, in a country where there are
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of envy and jealousy
people
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 intend to render
alms
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 through charity
organizations
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 in an anonymous way to avoid being questioned by the government or being kidnapped.
In addition
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, some
people
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 don't like publicity.
hence
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,their privacy is paramount to them. In conclusion, the way one chooses to render help to
people
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 in the
community
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 is
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a personal issue and in my ,opinion I don't like a publicity lifestyle or a show-off kind of life,
therefore
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 using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
national or international
organizations
Use synonyms
 is my best means for almsgiving.
Submitted by adaobihedioha12 on

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