IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people believe that after the child begins his/her schooling their teacher will have more influence than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, Education is very crucial in everybody's life. Some communities argue that children will be more influenced by their
faculty
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 rather than their
parents
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay describes both sides of the given statement. On the one side, In
this
Linking Words
 competitive world, the heir is spending
Add an article
the
a
show examples
most day in
school
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 to achieve their goals. And the academy era is more compared to home day. In
this
Linking Words
 ,way
their
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there
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 is getting more influenced by their
faculty
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 compared to their
parents
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. Due to
parents
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,
schedule
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the schedule
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 they
also
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 provide tuition to their offspring after
school
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.
This
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 reason engenders to spend lack of era with their offspring.
For instance
Linking Words
, a child will go to
school
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 and spend 10 hours per day in the
school
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 itself. Afterwards, his/her
parents
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 will send him/her to tuition. In
this
Linking Words
 ,way offspring have more influenced by
faculty
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 rather than their
parents
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. On the other side, offspring are influenced by their
parents
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 and
faculty
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 depends on their parent's behaviour. Even if offspring spend less time with their
parents
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 they will care for their
parents
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 more and listen to their words. To sum up, I agree with the given statement that offspring are influenced more by their teachers rather than their
parents
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. To build their standards offspring are spending more time in
academy
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the academy
an academy
show examples
 with their teachers.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • academic performance
  • character
  • values
  • upbringing
  • personality
  • education
  • guidance
  • collaboration
  • nurturing
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