Extreme sport such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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In recent years,extreme
sports
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have become popular around the world.Some people argued that those
sports
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are supposed to be prohibited since they might put people’s lives in danger.As for me,
i
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I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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totally disagree with
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

point. On the one hand, Doing extreme
sports
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sometimes increase the risk of
the
Correct article usage
apply

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individuals
to get
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getting

To get doesn’t seem to work here.

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injuries or even death.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, In China,particularly during winter, there have been many
reported
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reports

The word reported doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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that getting injuries regarding leg or spine fractures by skiing.According to data , the casualties are even more than 100 per year. So someone thought that
forbiding
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forbidding

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this
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kind of activities may reduce the occurrence of
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

things.
On the other hand
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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Correct your spelling
believe

The word belive doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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belive
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believe

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that it’s not as dangerous as people think. In fact, The danger brought by these
sports
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can be reduced by taking some steps.
For example
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, nowadays, there are many regulations as well as training for players to learn and undergo so that they can save their own life in the case of
emergency
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an emergency

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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. And when they exercise , there will be
also
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a coach or trainer to teach them how to protect
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themselves
themslves
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themselves

If you don’t want themslves to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

which will decrease the possibility of being wounded.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the proliferation of protective
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment

It appears that equipments is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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,
such
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as helmets or particular
suit
Fix the agreement mistake
suits

It seems that suit may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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made
Add a missing verb
are made

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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of rare materials ,
providing
Wrong verb form
provides

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb providing. Consider changing it.

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participants with minimum fatal situations.
Therefore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, players can enjoy those activities in a relatively safe condition and don’t need to be afraid of them. In conclusion, in my opinion, even though extreme
sports
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sometimes have a
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negative
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative

If you don’t want negetive to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

impact on human lives or even cause death by accidents, actually all
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have risks.As long as people be prepared in advance, the danger can be prevented.

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