art and music are considred some of the fundamental elements of all societies, and some suggest that hildren should learn them at school. Do you think art and music still have a place in today;s modern wordl of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school ?

#art #music #elements #societies #suggest #hildren #school #place #wordl #technology #children #time

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Nowadays, as technology becomes advanced, people are more concerned about STEM (science, technology, engineering and mathematics) than

art

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and

music

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school

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, especially for children.

However

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, there are big questions about whether

art

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and

music

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are still important in

this

Linking Words

era of technology.

Moreover

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, there are some people who think children still need to learn

art

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and

music

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. There are some reasons why

art

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and

music

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are essential in our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

First,

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research suggests that

art

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and

music

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are vital for passing down our cultural traditions and histories. Meanwhile, in

this

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era of globalization, maintaining our culture is important to keep our identities and keep them from extinction.

Secondly

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, artistic and musical education can foster creativity and imagination. These skills are essential for adapting to the rapidly changing world. Based on the benefit of learning

art

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and

music

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, it has been suggested for

childreen

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children

to study these subjects at

school

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. In the era of artificial intelligence, there is a growing need for a balanced education.

While

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STEM is crucial for logical thinking, integrating arts can help students develop both logical and creative skills.

Moreover

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, studies have shown that people who have engagement with

art

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and

music

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can enhance their academic abilities and

emotion

Replace the word

emotional

show examples

well-being.

Therefore

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, including

art

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and

music

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school

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are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

very important. In the end, we can conclude that

art

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and

music

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still play crucial parts in our daily life because these subjects help us to preserve

cultutal

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cultural

heritage and enhance our creativity.

Moreover

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, children should learn these subjects at

school

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because it allows them to balance

between

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apply

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logical thinking and creativity and

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

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them to develop emotions.

Submitted by kucinglab on Mon Apr 22 2024

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task achievement

Continue to develop your arguments with more specific examples and diverse perspectives to further enrich your essay.

coherence cohesion

Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and engage your reader further.

task achievement

Your essay effectively discusses the importance of art and music in preserving cultural heritage and enhancing creativity.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized, presenting a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, creating a cohesive argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Indispensability
Holistic development
Fosters
Emotional intelligence
Cultural heritage
Globalized
Cultural roots
STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
Integrating
Logical and creative thinking abilities
Cognitive abilities
Curricula
Rounded individuals

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art and music are considred some of the fundamental elements of all societies, and some suggest that hildren should learn them at school. Do you think art and music still have a place in today;s modern wordl of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school ?

Include an introduction and conclusion

There is a problem with the changing rooms in the sports centre that you visit. You have complained several times but with no success. •describe what the problem with the changing rooms is • say what happened the last times you complained • explain what you want the manager to do.

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In come countires, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think this is a positive or negetive situation?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be a good member of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?