IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #aim #sales #products
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Some
people
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 argue that product promotion only focuses on useless goods and makes customers purchase them as much as possible. In my opinion, I completely disagree with
this
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 point of view. I list three main reasons to support my point below. With the development of modern science and technology, shopping platforms are able to know the consumption habits of their consumers accurately by using cutting-edge techniques,
such
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 as big data analysing. In the cucirmstance, companies have access to the preference of their clients and
then
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 market the appropriate
products
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 to their consumers efficiently.
Moreover
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, in order to attract more consumers, many brands and companies are willing to provide various return and trial services.
For example
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, In China, the majority of both online and offline shops offer a so-called "7-day return" service
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 means that
people
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 can return the
products
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 without any reason within 7 days and get all their money back.
this
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 trend can dramatically reduce the risk of impulse consumption.
Lastly
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, from a personal perspective, I think most
people
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 are already used to the false advertising and exaggerated information in commercial adverts, they will not pay the money easily just after watching an advertisement. Take me
for example
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, I will search the similar
products
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 which I am interested in after seeing the promotion of a new product. In conclusion,
although
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 there are countless advertisements in our life, nowadays
people
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 rarely make a purchase without thinking twice after watching commercial adverts, because most of us only consider them as a means to know new
products
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.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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