IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In companies’ promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside the company, not to someone from outside or new hiring. Do you agree or disagree?

#companies’ #promotions #positions #employees #company #someone
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Promotions in companies are very important. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that only
employees
Use synonyms
 who are already working in the
company
Use synonyms
 should be promoted to higher positions. Others believe it is better to bring in new
people
Use synonyms
 from outside. In my opinion, I agree that promotions should mostly be given to current
employees
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, promoting
employees
Use synonyms
 who are already in the
company
Use synonyms
 helps them feel appreciated and motivated. When workers see that they have a chance to grow in the
company
Use synonyms
, they will work harder.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 means that the
company
Use synonyms
 does not need to spend a lot of money hiring and training new
people
Use synonyms
 because the current workers already know how things work.
Secondly
Linking Words
, giving promotions to internal staff helps the
company
Use synonyms
 save time.
Employees
Use synonyms
 already know the
company
Use synonyms
’s culture and rules, so they can start working in their new role quickly.
This
Linking Words
 makes it easier for the
company
Use synonyms
 to continue its operations without problems.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, hiring someone from outside can
also
Linking Words
 be good sometimes. New
people
Use synonyms
 can bring fresh ideas and new ways of doing things.
For example
Linking Words
, if a
company
Use synonyms
 needs new skills or knowledge, they might need to hire someone with those skills.
However
Linking Words
, if the
company
Use synonyms
 only hires from outside, it might upset the current
employees
Use synonyms
 who feel they are not being given a fair chance. In conclusion, I believe that promoting workers from inside the
company
Use synonyms
 is better most of the time. It keeps
employees
Use synonyms
 happy and helps the
company
Use synonyms
 save time and money. But sometimes hiring from outside is necessary to bring new ideas or skills to the team.
Submitted by 1382kz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To make your argument stronger, consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will enhance your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are well-organized, adding some linking words or phrases could further strengthen coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and supports it well, presenting arguments concisely.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The transition between ideas is smooth, helping the reader follow your reasoning easily.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • internal promotion
  • employee morale
  • career advancement
  • corporate culture
  • external candidate
  • fresh perspectives
  • onboarding
  • skill gaps
  • loyalty
  • innovation
  • competitive edge
  • resource allocation
  • smoother transitions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: