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Band 7.5

Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two thirds of children are now obese. schools have a responsibility to minitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. to what extent do you agree with this statement?

#childhood #obesity #australia #two #thirds #children #schools #responsibility #minitor #students #amount #exercise
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Child
obesity
Use synonyms
 is an evil problem in the young generation. In Australia, child
obesity
Use synonyms
 is becoming increasingly problematic. Almost 33% youngers are suffering from overweight. Some people believe that it is the responsibility of
schools
Use synonyms
 to keep eye on what their students eat and what is the range of their exercise.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
schools
Use synonyms
 have nothing to do with someone's diet and exercise schedule.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, learning knowledge is the main goal of educational institutes, because there is a lot of difference between a school teacher and a gym instructor.
For example
Linking Words
, in
schools
Use synonyms
, youngsters learn a wide range of knowledge from teachers and
also
Linking Words
 they can build a career with help of educational institutes but
schools
Use synonyms
 have nothing to do with the amount of food a student eats. To sum up, it is stupidity to blame
schools
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 for the
obesity
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 of
children
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 are responsible for
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Children
Use synonyms
 will buy both food and pay the gym fee with their
parents
Use synonyms
' money. So it is the responsibility of
parents
Use synonyms
 to check the diet plan of their
children
Use synonyms
 and they have to motivate their
children
Use synonyms
 for doing some healthy exercise and
also
Linking Words
 for playing different games.
For example
Linking Words
, if
parents
Use synonyms
 stop paying money for
children
Use synonyms
's junk foods despise using
this
Linking Words
 money for their health because it will be very beneficial. In short,
parents
Use synonyms
 can play a considerable role in maintaining the body of youngsters. In conclusion, a lot of people consider
schools
Use synonyms
 responsible for
obesity
Use synonyms
 in
children
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, it is just a myth. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
schools
Use synonyms
 are only for providing better education and knowledge.
Submitted by mohammadkashif934 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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