Young people prefer listening to music rather than listening to the news on the radio. Is this a positive or a negative trend? Provide reasons and examples for your opinion.
Music
plays an important role in everyone's life .It is a debatable issue that youngsters are giving more preference to music
instead
of news.I believe that it is a positive development . No doubt with the help of music
they can not only rejuvenate their mood but also
secure a future
to get a job in the musical field In my opinion, this
is a positive development .I will discuss the causes behind this
problem with relevant examples.
The first and foremost reason behind listening to music
is to rejuvenate moods , in this
competitive era, everyone wants to get relief from the mundane life so that's why they are giving priority to music
rather than news .Moreover
,they can not only enjoy life but also
reduce their stress levels.For instance
, a recent study has shown the data in the United States about stressful events and coping strategies.Most people have adopted the
Correct article usage
apply
music
therapy as a stress booster. As a result
, music
is good for improving the mental state.
Moreover
, nowadays, music
has become a first preference for everyone. If someone has no interest in other fields they can make their future
in the music
industry. To illustrate it, youngsters are following their role models that's why they want to become like them . Furthermore
, Nick Jonas told
during the interview that he had no interest in his studies Verb problem
said
then
he adopted the music
industry . Now he is an established singer with more net worth on the internet. Thus
, It is a better way to make the future
in desirable field instead
of forcefully indulging in other sectors.
In conclusion, considering the reasons behind choosing music
regardless of news . If we think positively about music
then
it offers various benefits such
as stress-boosting techniques and making a good future
.Submitted by harjass308 on
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task achievement
While your essay addresses the topic and provides relevant reasons and examples, it would benefit from greater clarity and structure. This can be achieved by clearly delineating each paragraph with a specific main idea, ensuring each idea is thoroughly developed before moving to the next point.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and the introduction and conclusion are present, which is commendable. However, transitions between thoughts and paragraphs can be improved. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily and enhance the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
To elevate your task achievement score, consider providing more detailed examples and elaboration on points. Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single main idea, and all ideas should be logically connected to reinforce your argument.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your stance on the issue and outlines what you will discuss in the essay. This sets a solid foundation for the response.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points. This is important for clarity and coherence.