Nowadays, technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In our modern society, the number of monitoring has
widspreaded
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widespread
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even though
eventhough
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even though
people
usurally
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usually
do not notice it. Some
people
agree with
this
siutaion
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situation
,
still
Add a comma
,still
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others feel annoying it. From my point of view, the
Correct your spelling
advantage
advangate
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advantages
of
this
development
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outweigh
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
the disadvantages.
First
of all,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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increasing
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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monitoring can reduce the
crime
rate
dramatically.
For instance
, China
having
Wrong verb form
has
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the
Correct your spelling
highest
highet
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highest
number of monitoring cameras all over the
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
is
Correct word choice
and is
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famous for the lowest
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crime
cime
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crime
rate
in the world. Most
of
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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people
not
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do not
did not
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try to commit a
crime
because they have
idea
Add an article
an idea
the idea
show examples
that they can not escape from the
cheking
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checking
choking
of the monitoring
system
.
Therefore
,
this
makes clear that the
crime
rate
is decreased thanks to the monitoring
Correct your spelling
technology
techonology
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technology
.
Moreover
, we can find the person who did a
crime
more easily because of the monitoring
system
. A
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recent
show examples
resent
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recent
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research conducted by United Nations in 2020 has reported that the countries with a large number of
monitroing
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monitoring
cameras have higher scores regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
catching
people
who
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committed
commit
commited
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committed
a
crime
compared to countries with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
poor monitoring environment.
Thus
, it becomes apparent that the monitoring
system
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
significantly useful for keeping our life safe. To sum up, we
disccused
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discussed
the advantages of the
monitring
Correct your spelling
monitoring
in terms of the low
crime
rate
and the high percentage for catching criminal
people
.
With
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For
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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two reasons, I totally agree with the statement that the merits of the development outweigh the demerits. After a thorough analysis of
this
subject, it is predicted that the
system
will
be broaden
Change the verb form
broaden
show examples
around the world in the future.
Submitted by lyu on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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