Nowadays, technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In our modern society, the number of monitoring has
widspreaded
Correct your spelling
widespread
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even though
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
people
usurally
do not notice it. Some Correct your spelling
usually
people
agree with this
siutaion
, Correct your spelling
situation
still
others feel annoying it. From my point of view, the Add a comma
,still
Correct your spelling
advantage
advangate
of Correct your spelling
advantages
this
development Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweight
the disadvantages.
Correct your spelling
outweigh
First
of all, the
increasing Correct article usage
apply
of
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apply
the
monitoring can reduce the Correct article usage
apply
crime
rate
dramatically. For instance
, China having
the Wrong verb form
has
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highest
highet
number of monitoring cameras all over the Correct your spelling
highest
places
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place
is
famous for the lowest Correct word choice
and is
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crime
cime
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crime
rate
in the world. Most of
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apply
the
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people
not
try to commit a Change the verb form
do not
did not
crime
because they have idea
that they can not escape from the Add an article
an idea
the idea
cheking
of the monitoring Correct your spelling
checking
choking
system
. Therefore
, this
makes clear that the crime
rate
is decreased thanks to the monitoring Correct your spelling
technology
techonology
.
Correct your spelling
technology
Moreover
, we can find the person who did a crime
more easily because of the monitoring system
. A Correct your spelling
recent
resent
research conducted by United Nations in 2020 has reported that the countries with a large number of Correct your spelling
recent
monitroing
cameras have higher scores regarding Correct your spelling
monitoring
to
catching Remove the preposition
apply
people
who Correct your spelling
committed
commit
commited
a Correct your spelling
committed
crime
compared to countries with the
poor monitoring environment. Correct article usage
a
Thus
, it becomes apparent that the monitoring system
are
significantly useful for keeping our life safe.
To sum up, we Change the verb form
is
disccused
the advantages of the Correct your spelling
discussed
monitring
in terms of the low Correct your spelling
monitoring
crime
rate
and the high percentage for catching criminal people
. With
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For
this
two reasons, I totally agree with the statement that the merits of the development outweigh the demerits. After a thorough analysis of Correct determiner usage
these
this
subject, it is predicted that the system
will be broaden
around the world in the future.Change the verb form
broaden
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
