IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think living in a big city is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #city #people’s #health
The migration of men from rural settlements to big cities, for better opportunities, has been as old as mankind.
However
, Its effects have  raised some concerns as a fraction of  citizens believed it negatively affects their health. I strongly agree with
this
 claim as urbanisation could lead to mental disorders as well as increased incidence of diseases.
To begin
 with, the urban settlement has been linked with poor housing conditions which could negatively affect one’s mental health. To clarify, people living in slums are faced with a myriad of problems ranging from low self-esteem to socioeconomic bullying which could result in depression. To illustrate, a study by the psychiatric society of Nigeria cited poor housing as a major factor in depression.
Hence
, inappropriate living conditions could cause an increased number of mental disorders.
Conversely
, it is true that there are better job opportunities in the cities compared to rural settlements.
This
 is because of the establishment of big industries that require the expertise of skilled individuals.
Nevertheless
,  these industries contribute to city pollution by
disposing
Add the preposition
ofdisposing
show examples
 waste into the sea, air and land.
For instance
, there has been an increase in the number of patients with lung diseases in the southern area of Nigeria due to the increased amount of soot produced by the oil refineries.
Thus
, inhaling
such
 waste had caused an increased incidence of lung disease in that area. In conclusion, living in the city has a negative impact on the health  of the citizens as it is linked with pollution as well as poor housing conditions.
Submitted by ladsrealities on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: