IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people say that advertisement is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discus both views and give your opinion.

#people #advertisement #attention #discus
It is argued that advertisement is whether successful or
usleess
Correct your spelling
useless
 tool in terms of making costumers
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
buy the product .In
this
 essay, I will discuss both views and give my point of view that advertisement is not needed stuff.
Firstly
 ,in some
products
 mostly when people try it for the
first
 time advertising may play the key role in
consumers
Change noun form
consumers'
consumer's
show examples
 choice as it has no idea in a particular area , and in loads of occasions the trustworthy product will be chosen , and passively or actively listened and recommended product has absolutely more odds to be prefered .
On the other hand
, there is
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 quote where the famous marketer said (Great
products
 do not require any advertising).
Therefore
 most used
products
 ,
such
 as Aspirine , never needed using advertisement to sell them more,but all expensive alternatives that eliminate
headache
Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
show examples
 in the same way as traditional aspirin does but from other company ,uses all TV,Radio,Billboard pursuing us to buy their commodity . To conclude , I would say that
although
 in some cases of life it can be detrimental, the majority of the
products
 are already purchased without any advertising .
Submitted by mutalovjohongir94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: