IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Government should spend more on rails than road. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#government #rails #road
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Railways
 are extensively opted by
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 to
travel
; especially, long distances and to transport goods as compared to
road
 transportation. Due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 safety and speed rails are more popular among people rather than roads. Considering the extensively growing demand for commuting
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 rails, I strongly advocate that, governing bodies should invest more
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
railways
 to tackle environmental issues and provide accessibility throughout the country.
To begin
 with,
railways
 have dedicated
track
Fix the agreement mistake
tracks
show examples
 except at the crossings keeping the traffic
congestions
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
show examples
 to minimal allowing on-time reach to the destinations. Train journey has proven to be much safer as trained engineers are employed to govern its course.
For example
, Shathabdhi express gets a clear route to
travel
 and any unintended interruptions are immediately addressed by the assigned professionals enabling
Add a hyphen
on-time
show examples
on time
Add a hyphen
on-time
show examples
 safe arrival. Though the implementation cost might be higher for
railways
, returns are far
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better.
Thus
 civic bodies should concentrate on
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of
railways
 to avoid any detrimental impact on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 and construct more railway lines to provide accessibility of
railways
 throughout the country.
On the contrary
,
road
 transport
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 mostly clumsy as everybody
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 access to it unlike
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
railways
 where only its employees assigned can operate.
Plethora
Add an article
A plethora
The plethora
show examples
 of variety of vehicles like cycles, bikes, four wheels,
heavy duty
Add a hyphen
heavy-duty
show examples
 vehicles are all present on
road
 making it impossible to handle it at best to avoid accidents,
this
also
 leads to traffic congestion delaying the
travel
 time to reach required location.
For instance
, even emergency vehicles like
ambulance
Fix the agreement mistake
ambulances
show examples
 and fire extinguishers fail to arrive at the expected time costing
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
show examples
 of people. While the expenses for
road
Add an article
the road
a road
show examples
 in terms of building and
maintaining
Replace the word
maintenance
show examples
 is cheaper, its multifold downsides cannot be denied. To conclude, commuting through
railways
 are beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society as compared to roads. If the problems are kept at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
minimal
Replace the word
minimum
show examples
,
then
 no doubt rail
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 will be chosen by
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 for all types of
travel
.
Thus
 civic bodies should extend more financial support
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the development of rails rather than roads.
Submitted by ramyabegurjayaprakash on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: