IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society
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Social work is always an essential factor for
society
Use synonyms
. In recent days, there are arguments that young
people
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 must involve them to do social
activities
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 without salary and it will enhance both environment and the
people
Use synonyms
 who involve in it. I strongly accept that involvement in
such
Linking Words
activities
Use synonyms
 helps them to understand the view of
society
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 and more individuals involve them
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
take
part
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 in the
activities
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the youngster’s
able
Replace the word
ability
show examples
 to understand the difficulties in
society
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. When
people
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 take
part
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 in social development
activities
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, they easily look into the issues and provide
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
solutions for the improvements.
For example
Linking Words
, my friends and I were a
part
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 of the NGO academy and we were involved in cleaning
activities
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 during our summer vacation.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
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 involved in
such
Linking Words
activities
Use synonyms
 will gain a certificate. It will help them to highlight it in their resume and increase the opportunity on getting
jobs
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.
In addition
Linking Words
 to the above, working in social reformation
jobs
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 without grand will attract
people
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 in the same age groups. Many youngsters feel shy about involving themselves in unpaid
jobs
Use synonyms
 but looking at the same categories of
people
Use synonyms
 at work will encourage them to participate.
For instance
Linking Words
, when I was a kid, I was not bold enough to take
part
Use synonyms
 in the
activities
Use synonyms
 until I saw my friends involved. To conclude, the involvement of
people
Use synonyms
 is always essential for social development and it is a personal decision to work on paid or unpaid
jobs
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. I strongly believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the involvement of youngsters in
activities
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 without getting paid will help them to see the hurdles in
society
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 as well as more
people
Use synonyms
 involved by looking at their presence.
Submitted by Arunsap05 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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