Some people think that the family is the most important influence on young adults. Other people think that friends are the most important influence on young adults. Which view do you agree with?
Some folks opine that
adults
who are younger get influenced by the family. Whereas
few people believe that friends
play a prominent role to influence
young Change preposition
in influencing
adults
. This
essay explains my view of this
subject in some instances.
On one hand, Family plays a crucial role in an individual's upbringing. Juveniles learn a plethora of habits
and interests by seeing their parents
. From childhood, they try to enact what their mother and father did and kids inbit
most of the qualities from them. It is the parent's responsibility to teach their Correct your spelling
inherit
childer
what is correct and so on. Correct your spelling
child
For example
, Kids learn how to treat elders with respect from their parents
. If children didn't
grow up in a well-educated and well-mannered environment, they tend to get influenced by all the bad Wrong verb form
don't
habits
their parents
have.
On the other hand
, Although
parents
of youngsters taught them good manners and habits
, children get influenced by their friends
. They adopt many habits
from their close friends
. Friends
have a tendency to do bad things and assume themselves as rebellious folks. They think that doing brave things will make them superior to others. There is a lot of possibility for younger adults
to get spoiled between the age of 18-25 when they adopt different lifestyles from friends
and they try to copy celebrities . For instance
, youngsters want to dress up like a celebrity , and for ,this
they try to steal money from their parents
. Also
, they try to do rebellious acts like a movie star does in movies. They enjoy their friend's company and do exactly the same as their friends
do.
In a nutshell, I strongly believe that ,
even though at some level Remove the comma
apply
parents
influence their kids. However
, ,
Change the punctuation
apply
teenage
it is the Correct your spelling
teenagers
friends
who influence younger adults
more . There is a lot of chance for youngsters to get spoiled at this
age . So parents
should pay a lot of attention to their children in their daily routine.Submitted by priya45338 on
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essay
Task Response: The response only partially addresses the prompt and lacks depth in discussing the influence of family and friends on young adults. It is important to fully address both views and provide a well-developed argument for the chosen viewpoint.
essay
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks proper organization and coherence, leading to a lack of clear structure. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the main points are not effectively supported and lack clear development. It is important to organize the ideas logically and provide relevant and well-supported examples for better coherence and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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