Some people think that the family is the most important influence on young adults. Other people think that friends are the most important influence on young adults. Which view do you agree with?

#people #influence #adults #friends

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Some folks opine that

adults

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who are younger get influenced by the family.

Whereas

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few people believe that

friends

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play a prominent role

to influence

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in influencing

show examples

young

adults

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This

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essay explains my view of

this

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subject in some instances. On one hand, Family plays a crucial role in an individual's upbringing. Juveniles learn a plethora of

habits

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and interests by seeing their

parents

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. From childhood, they try to enact what their mother and father did and kids

inbit

Correct your spelling

inherit

most of the qualities from them. It is the parent's responsibility to teach their

childer

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child

show examples

what is correct and so on.

For example

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, Kids learn how to treat elders with respect from their

parents

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. If children

didn't

Wrong verb form

don't

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grow up in a well-educated and well-mannered environment, they tend to get influenced by all the bad

habits

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their

parents

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have.

On the other hand

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Although

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parents

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of youngsters taught them good manners and

habits

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, children get influenced by their

friends

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. They adopt many

habits

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from their close

friends

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Friends

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have a tendency to do bad things and assume themselves as rebellious folks. They think that doing brave things will make them superior to others. There is a lot of possibility for younger

adults

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to get spoiled between the age of 18-25 when they adopt different lifestyles from

friends

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and they try to copy celebrities .

For instance

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, youngsters want to dress up like a celebrity , and for ,

this

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they try to steal money from their

parents

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Also

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, they try to do rebellious acts like a movie star does in movies. They enjoy their friend's company and do exactly the same as their

friends

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do. In a nutshell, I strongly believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

even though at some level

parents

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influence their kids.

However

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Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

teenage

Correct your spelling

teenagers

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it is the

friends

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who influence younger

adults

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more . There is a lot of chance for youngsters to get spoiled at

this

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age . So

parents

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should pay a lot of attention to their children in their daily routine.

Submitted by priya45338 on Thu Aug 11 2022

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essay

Task Response: The response only partially addresses the prompt and lacks depth in discussing the influence of family and friends on young adults. It is important to fully address both views and provide a well-developed argument for the chosen viewpoint.

essay

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks proper organization and coherence, leading to a lack of clear structure. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the main points are not effectively supported and lack clear development. It is important to organize the ideas logically and provide relevant and well-supported examples for better coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Some people think that the family is the most important influence on young adults. Other people think that friends are the most important influence on young adults. Which view do you agree with?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to anatural environment.

Some people believe that cyclists must take exams before being allowed to take part in traffic.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Rich countries often gives financial aid to developing countries although this not a solution to poverty therefore developed countries should give other types of financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?