Many young people today spend a lot of time playing electronic games. Is this a positive or negative development?
Many young generations are spending much of their leisure
time
playing digital games
. While
there are some positive aspects of this
, I think the negatives should also
be taken into account.
There are several positives to playing electronic games
. One positive is why playing games
teaches us teamwork, especially in team
games
. This
leads to team
achievement. Moreover
, playing games
teaches us cooperation, organization and loyalty to our team
, which in turn affects positively our relationships with other people. Another positive is that it teaches participants to have goals
and to work very hard to accomplish these aims. In life
, everyone has many goals
and they want to achieve to aims in front of them. Thus
, there is a strong relationship between playing games
and learning about life
. For example
, my brother played digital games
. Today he focuses on everything and he can work cooperatively with the team
.
However
, I acknowledge that children must not spend all their time
playing electronic games
because they have much homework today. As a result
, they have not got enough time
to do their tasks. All children should achieve many goals
and should gain very good jobs in the future. Nevertheless
, young people play digital games
and can ignore school lessons as well as
gain to none of purpose. For instance
, my friend's brother spent a lot of time
playing games
during school. He left school and he did not enter university. Consequently
, he cannot gain too many goals
.
In conclusion, playing games
teaches us many useful things about life
such
as coordination, achievement of goals
, and loyalty in life
. However
, it usually impacts life
very badly.Submitted by soglomovsarvar on
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sentence structure
Consider introducing more varied and complex sentence structures to enhance the sophistication of your writing.
content balance
Try to balance the discussion between positive and negative aspects by dedicating a similar amount of content and analysis to each side.
evidence support
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. While personal examples are good, incorporating a wider variety of evidence can make your essay more convincing.
argument coherence
Keep working on the coherence of your arguments. Make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, and that your ideas within paragraphs are clearly connected to each other.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
topic relevance
The topic of team skills development through gaming is relevant and interesting. This adds strength to your argument.
balanced discussion
You've made an effort to discuss both sides of the argument, showing an awareness of the complexity of the issue.
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