IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Multicultural societies, where people of different ethnic groups live together can bring more benefits than drawbacks to a society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued, nowadays, that it is preferable for
people
Use synonyms
 to live in a multicultural society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the opposite opinion is held by others. I agree because it enables others to learn about variate cultures and enables the citizen to acquire another
language
Use synonyms
. To commence with, the supporters of the prior viewpoint say that
people
Use synonyms
 should live in a place where it has more than
one
Use synonyms
 nationality because learning about different historical events can be done. To elaborate more, a person can educate the other
one
Use synonyms
 about his culture and vice versa.
For instance
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; I am from Oman, and my neighbour is from Australia.
Although
Linking Words
 each
one
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 is dramatically from a different country, historical events of
one
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 another are known. I have not been to Australia, yet I was educated about them.
Second
Linking Words
, living in a society that has multicultural individuals enables
people
Use synonyms
 to acquire their
language
Use synonyms
. The best way to speak any
second
Linking Words
language
Use synonyms
 is by being exposed to that
language
Use synonyms
. Generally speaking, staying in a place that has more than
one
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
 enables
people
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 to learn the available languages.
For example
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; research was conducted on multiculturalism
people
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, surprisingly, it was found that in a society that has five unlike citizens from dissimilar countries speak all the five languages accurately. In conclusion, some individuals say that it is not good for others to live in a location that has
people
Use synonyms
 from dissimilar cultures.
Nevertheless
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, for ,me the opposite is true due to the above-mentioned reasons.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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