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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that the increase in international travel has a negative impact on the environment and should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #travel #impact #environment
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It is believed by some that
a
Correct article usage
the
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 negative impact of
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
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 should be resolved with a ban
of
Change preposition
on
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 international
travel
Use synonyms
. The negative outcome of international
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
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 can be easily seen in places with fragile nature that
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been destroyed by crowds of people.
Nevertheless
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, I firmly disagree with the stated viewpoint as I believe
the
Change preposition
in the
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 right to discover the world.
Furthermore
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, sustainable ways to
travel
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 internationally are plausible to be found.
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FIrst
Correct your spelling
First
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 of all, I disagree with international
travel
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 restrictions, since the act of discovery is crucial for every person. To clarify
,
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apply
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 travels to the edge of the world tend to change mindsets and make individuals more tolerant. A person who, let us consider, hasn'
t
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 ever
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
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 outside one's county wouldn'
t
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 be as likely to be as open-minded as a
travel
Use synonyms
 lover. It is due to the fact that different countries
seen
Add the auxiliary verb
have seen
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 and diverse cultures
experienced
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experience
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make
Add the particle
to make
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 the
traveler
Change the spelling
traveller
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 open to other experiences and mindsets.
Moreover
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,
such
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 an open-minded person would be more likely to be cautious and caring about the
environment
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.
Besides
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, international
travel
Use synonyms
 can be sustainable as well,
thus
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 it shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 be banned or restricted. Even though trips by plane and tours
of
Change preposition
from
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travel
Use synonyms
 agencies are harmful to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature, sensible ways to
travel
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also
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 exist.
For example
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, a hitchhiker or a hiker,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 nature-friendly, is more attentive and respective to the surroundings, the
environment
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 included. To conclude,
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
an environment
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 must be protected and saved.
Nevertheless
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, international
travel
Use synonyms
 shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
be hold
Change the verb form
be held
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 as a scapegoat. Travelling across
the
Correct article usage
apply
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borders,
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can be sustainable as well, broaden people's minds and make them more caring about each other and the
environment
Use synonyms
.
Hence
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, the restriction of international trips most likely would be counterproductive.
Submitted by rytassakas on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • sustainable travel
  • eco-friendly
  • carbon emissions
  • habitat destruction
  • cultural dilution
  • overcrowding
  • resource depletion
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • tourism ethics
  • green initiatives
  • conservation efforts
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